The Seventh Age

…then I hope someone sues the City of St. Paul over the flagrant flaunting of religious imagery displayed at City Hall. Upon entering the seat of city government in our little burg, one is immediately assaulted by a 36 Foot Native American “God of Peace” emerging from the smoke of peyote pipes. Clearly, given today’s illumination provided by the robed Hammurabis, such primacy of place in a government building viciously violates the Establishment Clause with its menacing coercion of the defenseless, unsuspecting Christians of St. Paul into conformity with animist Native American hallucinogenic rites. I know that last time I was there for a city council meeting, I was basely humiliated and cowed by my lack of a peace pipe. 36 feet of dictatorial quartz made it clear in no uncertain terms that I was unwelcome in the halls of the Great Buffalo of Municipal Justice unless I came ready to toke up with my elected representatives. My government scowls at me and spits out this malediction: check your cute little Judeo-Christian deity at the door of the tee-pee, kemosabe. Now I know why St. Paul doesn’t have a city-wide smoking ban: smoking is a sacramental expression of the established religion!

I am certain that the ACLU, those defenders of liberty, will flock to my cause and advocate for the removal of the Pagan Colossus from City Hall. We’ll take it all the way to the Supreme Court, if necessary. And if the Supreme Court won’t rule in my favor, then I don’t what they’re smokin’.